I borrowed this book from my brother at the end of my final Winter Break. According to him, it would change the entire way I look at people. Having finally sat down and opened the cover, I'm already intrigued. It would be cheap to give away too much of the actual content of this book, so apart from noting the subtitle, "An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Speed-Reading People," I'm going to avoid direct quotations for the most part.
Considering Joe Navarro's reference to the observational skills of Sherlock Holmes, the words "Elementary, my dear Watson" came to mind a time or two. People these days, myself included, tend to be terribly lazy with their observations, only noticing the most overt and bombastic expressions when communicating. For example, there are certain people who never fail to overstay their welcome, chatting feverishly when their hosts are literally and exaggeratedly yawning from exhaustion. There are times when I try to signal nonverbally that I need to leave the conversation; it doesn't register. There are times when I catch myself avoiding eye contact with people; Navarro says this is a sign of fear or showing disdain. No wonder people read me in ways that are contrary to what's actually on my mind. A perfect stranger commented that I looked angry while I was having a pleasant dinner with a friend at the adjacent table. I was befuddled.
Navarro sets up ten commandments for observation, which can only be done justice when read in their entirety, but for the sake of summary, when observing, it is important to note an individual's normal behavior, the circumstances surrounding any change in behavior, potentially deceptive or misleading behaviors, and that the individual does not realize that he or she is being observed. As I work to improve my communication skills, a knowledge of nonverbal communication will be essential, not only for getting my point across but also for allaying old fears of another person's disinterest. I look forward to the topics covered in subsequent chapters.
Considering Joe Navarro's reference to the observational skills of Sherlock Holmes, the words "Elementary, my dear Watson" came to mind a time or two. People these days, myself included, tend to be terribly lazy with their observations, only noticing the most overt and bombastic expressions when communicating. For example, there are certain people who never fail to overstay their welcome, chatting feverishly when their hosts are literally and exaggeratedly yawning from exhaustion. There are times when I try to signal nonverbally that I need to leave the conversation; it doesn't register. There are times when I catch myself avoiding eye contact with people; Navarro says this is a sign of fear or showing disdain. No wonder people read me in ways that are contrary to what's actually on my mind. A perfect stranger commented that I looked angry while I was having a pleasant dinner with a friend at the adjacent table. I was befuddled.
Navarro sets up ten commandments for observation, which can only be done justice when read in their entirety, but for the sake of summary, when observing, it is important to note an individual's normal behavior, the circumstances surrounding any change in behavior, potentially deceptive or misleading behaviors, and that the individual does not realize that he or she is being observed. As I work to improve my communication skills, a knowledge of nonverbal communication will be essential, not only for getting my point across but also for allaying old fears of another person's disinterest. I look forward to the topics covered in subsequent chapters.
No comments:
Post a Comment