It all comes to a head here in Chapter 8, and no, that wasn't intended to be a pun this time. This section is on detecting deception, and considering the quantity of references to everything that has been discussed thus far in the book, the fact remains that no nonverbal action is a conclusive indicator that someone is lying. Nonverbals indicate comfort or discomfort; it is up to the investigator and his/her carefully selected questions to determine the cause of that discomfort.
Working in loss prevention, I really appreciated Navarro's steps to observing. The key to a successful read is to ease the subject into a feeling of comfort, an observable baseline. This makes any changes presented by future questions more easily observable. This came to mind particularly when I heard at work that the best way to get a confession from someone is not to play the good cop/bad cop intimidation game, but to be empathetic, patient, compassionate and ultimately kill them with kindness. This is something that, if I am to learn how to read people, I have to adopt pronto. I have this inner urge to leap at someone for something I suspect them of doing. This, of course, is pointless, as it is clearly pointed out in this chapter that innocent people can be coerced into confession.
In the end, though, since starting this book ages ago, I have noticed my observations of people are becoming easier. Just the other day, we had a safety seminar, and I was able to watch, as the explanations wore on, the behaviors of discomfort displayed in my coworkers: the arms between the legs, the rocking, the eyes on the exit routes, the checking of the watches. I even caught one of the firemen in the act of genital framing. I wasn't sure whether it was a dominance display (since he was not the one talking, or a subconscious show for the ladies sitting directly across from him. I'm sure it was not his conscious intent, which is why this book has made life so much more fun.
As I continue to practice the observations I learned in this book, I would like to find out how to act on them. For instance, when someone averts his/her eyes or suddenly turns quiet or displays any number of discomfort gestures, I would love to know how to bring them up on the verbal level without turning into an interrogator. I'll keep hunting for such a lesson. In any case, What Every Body Is Saying has been an extraordinary read, easy to follow, moderately easy to start applying, and a fantastic tool for understanding the inner workings of the people around us.
Working in loss prevention, I really appreciated Navarro's steps to observing. The key to a successful read is to ease the subject into a feeling of comfort, an observable baseline. This makes any changes presented by future questions more easily observable. This came to mind particularly when I heard at work that the best way to get a confession from someone is not to play the good cop/bad cop intimidation game, but to be empathetic, patient, compassionate and ultimately kill them with kindness. This is something that, if I am to learn how to read people, I have to adopt pronto. I have this inner urge to leap at someone for something I suspect them of doing. This, of course, is pointless, as it is clearly pointed out in this chapter that innocent people can be coerced into confession.
In the end, though, since starting this book ages ago, I have noticed my observations of people are becoming easier. Just the other day, we had a safety seminar, and I was able to watch, as the explanations wore on, the behaviors of discomfort displayed in my coworkers: the arms between the legs, the rocking, the eyes on the exit routes, the checking of the watches. I even caught one of the firemen in the act of genital framing. I wasn't sure whether it was a dominance display (since he was not the one talking, or a subconscious show for the ladies sitting directly across from him. I'm sure it was not his conscious intent, which is why this book has made life so much more fun.
As I continue to practice the observations I learned in this book, I would like to find out how to act on them. For instance, when someone averts his/her eyes or suddenly turns quiet or displays any number of discomfort gestures, I would love to know how to bring them up on the verbal level without turning into an interrogator. I'll keep hunting for such a lesson. In any case, What Every Body Is Saying has been an extraordinary read, easy to follow, moderately easy to start applying, and a fantastic tool for understanding the inner workings of the people around us.
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