The content of these two chapters is so similar that it can easily be combined into one blog post. The point I would especially like to address is that of hiding the arms and hands, based on an experience I had last night.
I went on a dinner date, nothing serious, more of a "Hi, what sort of person are you?" kind of thing. The discomfort cues were instant and consistent, starting with the eyes, which met mine maybe ten short times over two hours of decent (to the ears) conversation. But on the topic of hands, for the duration, he kept his hands completely out of sight the entire evening, tucked down between his legs, as if he were cold. I even asked if he were cold, and he denied it. When I spoke, I expressed everything with my hands to the point I thought I was going a little overboard. When he spoke, the hands never appeared. The only time I ever saw his hands at the table were when he was lifting his sangria or his cell phone. It was clearly uncomfortable for everyone.
In the background, he had totaled his car a few days before and was seriously reconsidering his drinking habits. Though he apologized for seeming depressing at the end of the night, the contrast between his typed enthusiasm for meeting up and his physical aversion to lingering was worth noting. I've felt this level of discomfort before, but only now, having read these chapters, am I able to explain why. It's worth checking out. What do people's arms tell you?
Side note: Going to make a concentrated effort to keep my thumbs out of my pockets when I do chance to pocket my hands.
I went on a dinner date, nothing serious, more of a "Hi, what sort of person are you?" kind of thing. The discomfort cues were instant and consistent, starting with the eyes, which met mine maybe ten short times over two hours of decent (to the ears) conversation. But on the topic of hands, for the duration, he kept his hands completely out of sight the entire evening, tucked down between his legs, as if he were cold. I even asked if he were cold, and he denied it. When I spoke, I expressed everything with my hands to the point I thought I was going a little overboard. When he spoke, the hands never appeared. The only time I ever saw his hands at the table were when he was lifting his sangria or his cell phone. It was clearly uncomfortable for everyone.
In the background, he had totaled his car a few days before and was seriously reconsidering his drinking habits. Though he apologized for seeming depressing at the end of the night, the contrast between his typed enthusiasm for meeting up and his physical aversion to lingering was worth noting. I've felt this level of discomfort before, but only now, having read these chapters, am I able to explain why. It's worth checking out. What do people's arms tell you?
Side note: Going to make a concentrated effort to keep my thumbs out of my pockets when I do chance to pocket my hands.
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